Compartmentalizing the Process of Aging

This Facebook meme made me giggle:

It seemed particularly appropriate because I marked a milestone birthday this month. Years ago upon reaching 65 I declared myself ‘officially old’ because it was society’s perceived age of retirement and  I finally qualified for Canada’s OAP. Now, having reached ‘Lvl 80’, I’m not sure what I am. Maybe ‘officially ancient’? 

There are lots of clichés about aging… about only being as old as you feel, or about age being an issue of mind over matter; if you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter. An elderly woman in our church was once asked how she was feeling and cheerfully replied, “Oh, I’m feeling just fine, thanks, but my body is wearing out.” Another elderly woman of a similar age, while receiving some physical assistance, complained bitterly about her limitations and said, “I wish you could just shoot me.” Granted, their home situations differed, but their attitudes affected both how they viewed their conditions and how their friends related to them.

A writing friend recently reviewed a story about a woman with total amnesia who looked in the mirror and was distraught when she didn’t recognize the woman she saw. She considered herself much younger than the wrinkled, grey-haired reflection. When I look in the mirror, I’m not upset, but sometimes I’m surprised by who is looking back at me. Surely that’s my grandmother! But no, she died back in 1967 when she was 70. Yikes! I’m already ten years older than she was. Definitely ancient!

Aging is a fascinating process. Looking back, I view my life as a series of videos, each covering a block of approximately twenty years…

  • Block  I — Childhood, School
  • Block 2 — Marriage, Family
  • Block 3 — Empty Nest, Second Career
  • Block 4 — Retirement

In retrospect, each block was a fulfilling, growing experience as it built on the previous one. I have no idea what this fifth block is going to look like; it’s a video still in the recording process. I know I’m more accepting/forgiving of my shortcomings now, and I have different goals from those of twenty, forty or sixty years ago. But I do still have goals, and I look at them now with a greater sense of urgency since the years ahead don’t stretch out with the same sense of indefiniteness that they once did.

When I think of the two women mentioned above (who were in their late-90s at the time), I hope my attitudes will more often resemble those of the first one when it comes to accepting the challenges my latter years may bring. Then with a continuation of some of the blessings God has granted me in the past plus a bit of good ol’ Irish luck as the future unfolds, perhaps at the end I’ll be able to entitle the final video Block 5 — Goals Reached.

Whatever the case, I’m content to be celebrating the achievement of ‘Lvl 80‘ in this game of Life!

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Talking About Aging

This is the fourth year in a row that my friend Diana Trautwein has taken up October’s 31 Day Writing Challenge. She says, “First was 31 Days in Which I Am Being Saved by Beauty (2012), then there were 31 Days of Giving Permission (2013), and last year, it was 31 Days of Looking for the Little.

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This year the theme is 31 Days of Aging Gracefully. I haven’t joined her in the writing, but I delight in reading her words. Diana is a gracious lady, full of wisdom and deep faith. She is also a gifted communicator.

Signature-Headshot-Left-2225x270If you read the Bio on her blog, you’ll discover that for over twenty years she was a stay-at-home mom, then owned a small floral business for seven years. In mid-life she went to seminary, answered a call to pastoral ministry, and finally retired at the end of 2010 after seventeen years in two churches. At present she is a certified spiritual director and writer.

She says she’s trying to be a better writer, “to tell the stories God has written in [her] life.” I don’t know how much better she can get. She already writes with honesty and a clarity that sometimes leaves me breathless. For anyone facing or contemplating increasing age (and isn’t that all of us?), I highly recommend bookmarking Diana’s blog, Just Wondering, and following her October daily entries as she shares her very personal reflections on this sensitive topic.

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Diana says, “This is a year of facing into reality for me. I turned 70 in January, I landed in the hospital in February and again, at the end of April. I traveled to Kauai in July with our entire clan to celebrate FIFTY years of marriage, and in August, my husband and I moved, downsizing after 18 years in a much-loved larger home with a huge yard. Yeah, it was time. It IS time.” [To continue reading, please click the October 1st link:

October 1 — The 31-day Write
October 2 — Living In Gratitude
October 3 — Slowing Down

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