Impulsiveness isn’t one of my traits. When there’s a decision to be made I agonize over it; I second guess every possible outcome of it; occasionally I even stay awake nights because of it.
It’s not that I don’t believe God knows what’s best for me. The problem is that I’m often slow to ask his opinion.
Is it human nature or lifelong conditioning that convinces us independence is admirable? “Stand on your own two feet.” “Think for yourself.” How often have we heard such admonitions? Only when I hit overload mode do I “take it to the Lord in prayer”. Trouble is, when I’m done praying I pick up the concern again and tote it off with me to continue fussing over. Maybe there’s something about God’s omnipotence that makes me think my everyday decisions are too petty to deserve much of his attention.
And yet now as I watch a nondescript song sparrow chowing down at our birdfeeder I am reminded that there is nothing too insignificant for God’s oversight — not a single sparrow*, nor any trivial aspect of my daily doings.
I’d get a lot more sleep if I’d act on that knowledge sooner.
* Matthew 10:29